memories

i don't know why i can't get over you.
i guess you'll always be special to me.
imu

dont know

i don't know whats happening to you but through reading your blog, it seems somethings troubling you.
i just want to say i hope we're still friends.
and as a friend, i will always be there if you need someone to talk too.
you take care of yourself.
lots of love.

hanging on

i don't know why i'm still like this....
i'm tired...

not too long ago

2months since we broke up.
and i still feel.......

its hurting like it never did before

if i told you, i still love you...
would you believe me?
if i told you, i still hope for us to get back together...
would you believe me?
if i told you, i cry myself to sleep every night...
would you believe me?
if i told you, i look at your picture everynight...
would you believe me?
if i told you, my heart still longs for you..
would you believe me?
i just read your blog, and i guess you've found someone...
bye.

hopes

i'm still hoping for a day, where i can call you my baby.
i'm still hoping for a day, where i can hug you to sleep.
i'm still hoping, we can be together again.
i'm still hoping, you still love me like before.
i still miss you.

broken

i think i'm done hiding behind a mask.

i'm done keeping all my emotions to myself.

i think i've finally broken down.

i just want to break free.

all i am....

i miss your touch.

i miss your voice.

i miss that smile of yours.

i miss having you by my side.

i just miss you.

i don't know why your feelings had changed, but all i can say is i still love you.

i just wish..

your feelings didnt change

reflection

somehow i see myself in this....

i was wrong

i thought i had forgotten....
i thought i had moved on.....
i was wrong...
i still miss you....
i still wish....
wish you were here...

cant believe

cant believe i'm still posting here.
but i do miss you.

goodbye

i won't be using this site anymore.

i think i've finally moved on.

i guess it's time i picked myself up.

to everyone thanks for being there.

and to you, thank you for giving me sweet memories.

coffee someday alright?

....

sweet escape....

tonight, we sleep.....

Why is it that we can't always have what we want? There are a million things i wanted to tell you, that is if you want to listen. I want you to know that how much i miss you and how happy you made me feel. And right now, i have no one else to blame, except for myself. I guess this is the part where i am supposed to say, and tonight my world came crushing down.

flashback

Was studying when Britney Spear's "sometimes" played through my speakers.

I stopped.

I felt a pain in my heart.

Tears swelled up in my eyes.

And I remembered.....

PartyWorld, she sang it to me.

Sweet memories.

IMU

always with me

was looking through our pictures.....

sweet memories.....

i still keep the polaroid of us taken at the zoo in my wallet, and i carry it around with me everyday.....

i guess it serves as a reminder of the times we spent together....

and just to let you know....

I love you still....

lost

I wish you were by my side, when I was feeling down.....
Because all I needed was a hug from you, and everything would be alright.....
Tell me it's going to ok......
Tell me it's all a nightmare.....
Tell me things are going to be alright....

get back

i don't want to keep feeling the way i do.
still wishing and hoping for the impossible.
IMU.
when will things go back to normal for me.....

no more tears

Was thinking about her on the way home from camp, don't know why I still do it. I've been trying to keep myself busy be it with work or play but somehow, I always end up with some alone time and that's when I start being all emo. I don't know already, I just want to live life without all these emotional luggages.

love

Avril Lavinge's "when your gone"......favourite emo song for now....

the lyrics mean alot to me....

oh well lets get drunk and forget our problems

stop these tears from flowing

Why am I feeling like shit when she does not care??
Why can't I forget about her?!
Give me something to numb the pain....because it hurts so bad.

can't sleep

1am.
I thought I could forget everything but I can't. I tried to move on but I can't. I wanted to throw away the cards and delete msg's but I didn't. I'm afraid to accept reality. I keep hoping it's all a dream. I still love her.

Saturday night at cuscaden, Jennifer(shane's mum) said to me and I qoute "no wonder you look so sad". I just smiled. I wanted to break down, I swear but I just waved it off. Deep down inside, I was hurting real bad. I've been seeking solence in alcohol and it's taking a toll on my health. I need to move on....

tears in heaven

I don't know if she still thinks about me.

But I do know one thing, I love her still.

I think of her every second, minute and hour of the day.

I read the cards she gave me.....

I look through our pictures......

And everytime, I cry.

These days, I feel lost.

I really wish all these was a dream.

Because it hurts so much, not being able to call her my baby.

I don't know why, but everytime I'm alone I want to call her, sms her and even visit her.

The other day, I don't know what happened but I went to her place but didn't dare to go up.

I feel like a complete loser.

Tell me, how can I forget someone I've loved so dearly?

cold

there's an ice box....where my heart use to be.

loving you

I feel like shit.

Honestly.

I'm trying to move on but I can't.

I want to hug you so badly, especially when mum landed in hospital.

I can only hope.

That one day, we'll be together again.

I love you

hoping

I thought I could forget you.

But I still think of you everyday.

I still hope to hear from you.

I love you still.

rover dover

i actually miss this cute little doggy.

I miss how it cuddles up to me and makes me breathe in his bad breath.

On another note, I miss her as well.

Wonder how she is? Whats shes doing now?

I miss you Adrina.

runaway train

"Like a broken record, i'm stuck at where she left me."

It has been nearly a month plus already. I still behave like it just happened yesterday. On the surface, i'm might look fine but only my close friends know what i'm going through. The thoughts never seem to end, the heartaches never seem to ease, the heavy heart never seem to lighten up.

Everyday for me seem monotonous. As much as i try to occupy my mind, i always go home only to realise that i'm missing her even more. Each time the radio plays my favourite song, my heart goes out to her and hopes she's doing well. I knows she has moved on with her life long ago. Not taking another look back on what we once had.

I still stand at where she left me and have not moved an inch since. I thought I had found someone I could love with all my heart but until a few weeks ago, i was proven wrong.The saddest part is that the only way i keep in contact with her is by the pictures we took.

running away

i don't know anymore.
i don't know how to feel.
fuck, i don't even know who i am anymore.
screw it, off for a run

if you ever see this

i'm hurting real bad.

it's been nearly a month since i seen or talked to her.

i really really miss you.

if you ever read this, i love you.

.

i miss you

till today, my love for you has not changed.

i love you

messed up

life is pretty mess up for me now.

I am trying to figure out how much damage is done here, and sometimes you know, you can't measure it. Because that once in awhile, when you look back, those wounds are still hurting like raw skin.

And sometimes the only way to ignore the pain is to push myself through it until i finally give way and break down.

And that's where i am now......

and i don't know what to do anymore.

mindless

why am i in such a state?

why am i hurting so much when shes's not?

am i just being a fool for holding onto something which i've lost?

too many things are running through my mind, but only one thing is bothering me the most.

You.

i want to hug you so bad.

but i can't.

i have a feeling you've moved on a long time ago.

i miss you.

missing you

It's funny how i thought i was the only one who missed her.

Even my family does.

Mum came in just now, asked why she didn't come over recently.

Nothing came out of my mouth, my eyes started to turn watery.

I tried my best to fight back the tears, i failed.

Tears started to flow down my cheeks.

She hugged me, kissed me on the forehead.

I tried to reply, but to no avail.

All mum said was "you must really love her, because i've never seen you like this before"

I looked at her and she just smiled.

I love you mum. Thank you for being there for me.

blurry

i feel like a complete loser.

i feel like its the end of the world.

i feel incomplete.

i feel so numb, yet the pain still lingers.

i feel so tired, tired of crying myself to sleep everynight.

i feel as though....

i don't know what i'm feeling too.

linger

i'm trying to be strong.

i'm trying to be happy.

but deep down inside, it still hurts.

i miss you

reality?

can this be real?

or am i just dreaming?

stuck in a state of denial.

can someone save me?

i don't know whats real or fake anymore.

i wish to be numb

you don't know what is it like to be hurting so much.

i still love you, as much as before

People come and go at the most unexpected moments. People step out of your life so quickly; you wouldn't even know what hit you. But how do you go on replacing someone who used to play such an important part in you life before? How do you go on pretending everything is back to normal when they are not?

maybe?

i think i should close this blog.

too much emoness already.

maybe i should just let you go and start anew?

i'm at a loss.

the unexplained

i want to get that thought out of me

but in the end i wake up the next day having that little hope again.

why?

dont know why

i'm afraid to sleep. because each time i close my eyes. i see you.

i don't know....

i don't want to feel anymore.

i want to be numb.

i'm just tired

tired.

I feel empty.

Drained.

Tired.

Just tired.

I can't explain whats wrong with me.

I just don't feel "normal".

I need to get away.

i still love you, i really do

i just wanted you to know that i missed you last night.

and with a little tear i forced myself to sleep.

the point of no return

she's said the words.

"I just want to be single"

we've finally broken up, over msg's not the phone mind you.

i didn't even get a phone call or even a glimpse of her.

i'm feeling really down.

sad?

hurt?

i don't know too, because i think i'm hurting too much already to care.

she's happy with her life now, and i'll keep my word of being happy for her too.

the road to recovery, i hope.

wonderful start.tragic end.

i'm sad,utterly disappointed and wounded.

it had been a blissful journey together.

but now we've lost it.

the epitomy of a fallen star, up among the brightest.

now the crest of a full moon, in which lies a dragon's carcass.

like stallions we once stood tall in silence, we graciously fall.

oh lord, let it rain tonight.

for which emotions shall flow, and of tears no one would fight.

only you

Only you.......
can make me sleepless reminiscing about the past
can make me cry each time we put down the phone
can make me cry so hard for a girl
can make me think about nothing else but just you
can make me laugh at your lamest jokes
can make me smile to myself oblivion to the surroundings
can make me happy
can remind me how much i am in love with you
can make me love
can hurt me like nobody did.

could you be the love of my life throughout this point of time?

questions

when?

why?

how?

when will i hear from you

i can't help but cry each time i read the cards she gave me.

i miss her so much i tell you.

a part of me has already resigned to the fact that she will not want to try.

but that small portion inside of me is still wishing and hoping that she'll try.

i bought a card 3weeks back, planned on writing a small note in camp whenever i thought of her but now, the card is as good as useless.

i might sound like a fool, call me whatever you want, desperate even, i don't care.

because she's something worth fighting for.

now, all i can do is wait.

for good or bad news?

only you

it hurts.

i really want to hug you now.

i want you to tell me it's going to be alright.

this tears don't seem to stop.

i need you and only you.

whats the meaning?

LOVE....

just another four letter word?

can i see you?

Empty bottles, empty cups, empty bags....
They have a body, but no substance inside.
That’s exactly how I’m feeling now.
I’ve never felt so much for someone before, until I met you.
When you told me you lost all feelings for me, I felt a pain.
A pain I’ve never felt before.
When you said you didn’t want to meet me last night, it really hurt.
I’m not blaming you for anything; I just want another chance for us to be happy.
I miss the times we had together, I miss your hugs and kisses.
I JUST MISS YOU BABY.

afraid

i'm afraid to sleep.

i'm afraid to close my eyes.

i see you everywhere baby.

i don't know why or how, but i know i've fallen too deep for you.

i keep telling myself it's going to be alright but, every second which passes without me hearing from you makes me afraid.

i'm afraid, afraid of losing the only person i ever loved so dearly.You

sweet memories

the one who made me complete.

waiting to see you

Underneath the lamppost I stood.
Looking up above, I only managed to see your room.
I cried, each time I received a message.
Walking to the lift, I wished you would appear.
But my hopes turned into ashes each time you didn’t appear.
I cried when you didn’t want to see me.
I really wish we can be together.
I thought I could catch a glimpse of your wonderful smile, but I couldn’t.
More tears flowed down my cheeks
I needed a hug from you, telling me it’s going to be ok.
Baby if you ever get to read this, I really love you.
Please let me be the one to make you happy.

i still love you

i really wish we can grow old together.

the times i had with you are priceless.

i've never been happier in my whole life until you came into it.

if i had to give up everything i have and only am allowed one thing to keep, it would be you.

trust me when i say I LOVE YOU, i really mean it.

i really want to be the one for you.

please give me good news tomorrow, because it can and will get better from here.

I PROMISE, I'LL LOVE YOU WITH ALL MY HEART BABY.