tears in heaven

I don't know if she still thinks about me.

But I do know one thing, I love her still.

I think of her every second, minute and hour of the day.

I read the cards she gave me.....

I look through our pictures......

And everytime, I cry.

These days, I feel lost.

I really wish all these was a dream.

Because it hurts so much, not being able to call her my baby.

I don't know why, but everytime I'm alone I want to call her, sms her and even visit her.

The other day, I don't know what happened but I went to her place but didn't dare to go up.

I feel like a complete loser.

Tell me, how can I forget someone I've loved so dearly?

cold

there's an ice box....where my heart use to be.

loving you

I feel like shit.

Honestly.

I'm trying to move on but I can't.

I want to hug you so badly, especially when mum landed in hospital.

I can only hope.

That one day, we'll be together again.

I love you

hoping

I thought I could forget you.

But I still think of you everyday.

I still hope to hear from you.

I love you still.

rover dover

i actually miss this cute little doggy.

I miss how it cuddles up to me and makes me breathe in his bad breath.

On another note, I miss her as well.

Wonder how she is? Whats shes doing now?

I miss you Adrina.

runaway train

"Like a broken record, i'm stuck at where she left me."

It has been nearly a month plus already. I still behave like it just happened yesterday. On the surface, i'm might look fine but only my close friends know what i'm going through. The thoughts never seem to end, the heartaches never seem to ease, the heavy heart never seem to lighten up.

Everyday for me seem monotonous. As much as i try to occupy my mind, i always go home only to realise that i'm missing her even more. Each time the radio plays my favourite song, my heart goes out to her and hopes she's doing well. I knows she has moved on with her life long ago. Not taking another look back on what we once had.

I still stand at where she left me and have not moved an inch since. I thought I had found someone I could love with all my heart but until a few weeks ago, i was proven wrong.The saddest part is that the only way i keep in contact with her is by the pictures we took.

running away

i don't know anymore.
i don't know how to feel.
fuck, i don't even know who i am anymore.
screw it, off for a run

if you ever see this

i'm hurting real bad.

it's been nearly a month since i seen or talked to her.

i really really miss you.

if you ever read this, i love you.

.

i miss you

till today, my love for you has not changed.

i love you

messed up

life is pretty mess up for me now.

I am trying to figure out how much damage is done here, and sometimes you know, you can't measure it. Because that once in awhile, when you look back, those wounds are still hurting like raw skin.

And sometimes the only way to ignore the pain is to push myself through it until i finally give way and break down.

And that's where i am now......

and i don't know what to do anymore.

mindless

why am i in such a state?

why am i hurting so much when shes's not?

am i just being a fool for holding onto something which i've lost?

too many things are running through my mind, but only one thing is bothering me the most.

You.

i want to hug you so bad.

but i can't.

i have a feeling you've moved on a long time ago.

i miss you.

missing you

It's funny how i thought i was the only one who missed her.

Even my family does.

Mum came in just now, asked why she didn't come over recently.

Nothing came out of my mouth, my eyes started to turn watery.

I tried my best to fight back the tears, i failed.

Tears started to flow down my cheeks.

She hugged me, kissed me on the forehead.

I tried to reply, but to no avail.

All mum said was "you must really love her, because i've never seen you like this before"

I looked at her and she just smiled.

I love you mum. Thank you for being there for me.

blurry

i feel like a complete loser.

i feel like its the end of the world.

i feel incomplete.

i feel so numb, yet the pain still lingers.

i feel so tired, tired of crying myself to sleep everynight.

i feel as though....

i don't know what i'm feeling too.

linger

i'm trying to be strong.

i'm trying to be happy.

but deep down inside, it still hurts.

i miss you

reality?

can this be real?

or am i just dreaming?

stuck in a state of denial.

can someone save me?

i don't know whats real or fake anymore.

i wish to be numb

you don't know what is it like to be hurting so much.

i still love you, as much as before

People come and go at the most unexpected moments. People step out of your life so quickly; you wouldn't even know what hit you. But how do you go on replacing someone who used to play such an important part in you life before? How do you go on pretending everything is back to normal when they are not?

maybe?

i think i should close this blog.

too much emoness already.

maybe i should just let you go and start anew?

i'm at a loss.

the unexplained

i want to get that thought out of me

but in the end i wake up the next day having that little hope again.

why?

dont know why

i'm afraid to sleep. because each time i close my eyes. i see you.

i don't know....

i don't want to feel anymore.

i want to be numb.

i'm just tired

tired.

I feel empty.

Drained.

Tired.

Just tired.

I can't explain whats wrong with me.

I just don't feel "normal".

I need to get away.

i still love you, i really do

i just wanted you to know that i missed you last night.

and with a little tear i forced myself to sleep.

the point of no return

she's said the words.

"I just want to be single"

we've finally broken up, over msg's not the phone mind you.

i didn't even get a phone call or even a glimpse of her.

i'm feeling really down.

sad?

hurt?

i don't know too, because i think i'm hurting too much already to care.

she's happy with her life now, and i'll keep my word of being happy for her too.

the road to recovery, i hope.