not too long ago

2months since we broke up.
and i still feel.......

its hurting like it never did before

if i told you, i still love you...
would you believe me?
if i told you, i still hope for us to get back together...
would you believe me?
if i told you, i cry myself to sleep every night...
would you believe me?
if i told you, i look at your picture everynight...
would you believe me?
if i told you, my heart still longs for you..
would you believe me?
i just read your blog, and i guess you've found someone...
bye.

hopes

i'm still hoping for a day, where i can call you my baby.
i'm still hoping for a day, where i can hug you to sleep.
i'm still hoping, we can be together again.
i'm still hoping, you still love me like before.
i still miss you.

broken

i think i'm done hiding behind a mask.

i'm done keeping all my emotions to myself.

i think i've finally broken down.

i just want to break free.

all i am....

i miss your touch.

i miss your voice.

i miss that smile of yours.

i miss having you by my side.

i just miss you.

i don't know why your feelings had changed, but all i can say is i still love you.

i just wish..

your feelings didnt change

reflection

somehow i see myself in this....

i was wrong

i thought i had forgotten....
i thought i had moved on.....
i was wrong...
i still miss you....
i still wish....
wish you were here...

cant believe

cant believe i'm still posting here.
but i do miss you.

goodbye

i won't be using this site anymore.

i think i've finally moved on.

i guess it's time i picked myself up.

to everyone thanks for being there.

and to you, thank you for giving me sweet memories.

coffee someday alright?

....

sweet escape....

tonight, we sleep.....

Why is it that we can't always have what we want? There are a million things i wanted to tell you, that is if you want to listen. I want you to know that how much i miss you and how happy you made me feel. And right now, i have no one else to blame, except for myself. I guess this is the part where i am supposed to say, and tonight my world came crushing down.

flashback

Was studying when Britney Spear's "sometimes" played through my speakers.

I stopped.

I felt a pain in my heart.

Tears swelled up in my eyes.

And I remembered.....

PartyWorld, she sang it to me.

Sweet memories.

IMU

always with me

was looking through our pictures.....

sweet memories.....

i still keep the polaroid of us taken at the zoo in my wallet, and i carry it around with me everyday.....

i guess it serves as a reminder of the times we spent together....

and just to let you know....

I love you still....

lost

I wish you were by my side, when I was feeling down.....
Because all I needed was a hug from you, and everything would be alright.....
Tell me it's going to ok......
Tell me it's all a nightmare.....
Tell me things are going to be alright....

get back

i don't want to keep feeling the way i do.
still wishing and hoping for the impossible.
IMU.
when will things go back to normal for me.....

no more tears

Was thinking about her on the way home from camp, don't know why I still do it. I've been trying to keep myself busy be it with work or play but somehow, I always end up with some alone time and that's when I start being all emo. I don't know already, I just want to live life without all these emotional luggages.

love

Avril Lavinge's "when your gone"......favourite emo song for now....

the lyrics mean alot to me....

oh well lets get drunk and forget our problems

stop these tears from flowing

Why am I feeling like shit when she does not care??
Why can't I forget about her?!
Give me something to numb the pain....because it hurts so bad.

can't sleep

1am.
I thought I could forget everything but I can't. I tried to move on but I can't. I wanted to throw away the cards and delete msg's but I didn't. I'm afraid to accept reality. I keep hoping it's all a dream. I still love her.

Saturday night at cuscaden, Jennifer(shane's mum) said to me and I qoute "no wonder you look so sad". I just smiled. I wanted to break down, I swear but I just waved it off. Deep down inside, I was hurting real bad. I've been seeking solence in alcohol and it's taking a toll on my health. I need to move on....