always with me

was looking through our pictures.....

sweet memories.....

i still keep the polaroid of us taken at the zoo in my wallet, and i carry it around with me everyday.....

i guess it serves as a reminder of the times we spent together....

and just to let you know....

I love you still....

lost

I wish you were by my side, when I was feeling down.....
Because all I needed was a hug from you, and everything would be alright.....
Tell me it's going to ok......
Tell me it's all a nightmare.....
Tell me things are going to be alright....

get back

i don't want to keep feeling the way i do.
still wishing and hoping for the impossible.
IMU.
when will things go back to normal for me.....

no more tears

Was thinking about her on the way home from camp, don't know why I still do it. I've been trying to keep myself busy be it with work or play but somehow, I always end up with some alone time and that's when I start being all emo. I don't know already, I just want to live life without all these emotional luggages.

love

Avril Lavinge's "when your gone"......favourite emo song for now....

the lyrics mean alot to me....

oh well lets get drunk and forget our problems

stop these tears from flowing

Why am I feeling like shit when she does not care??
Why can't I forget about her?!
Give me something to numb the pain....because it hurts so bad.

can't sleep

1am.
I thought I could forget everything but I can't. I tried to move on but I can't. I wanted to throw away the cards and delete msg's but I didn't. I'm afraid to accept reality. I keep hoping it's all a dream. I still love her.

Saturday night at cuscaden, Jennifer(shane's mum) said to me and I qoute "no wonder you look so sad". I just smiled. I wanted to break down, I swear but I just waved it off. Deep down inside, I was hurting real bad. I've been seeking solence in alcohol and it's taking a toll on my health. I need to move on....